Strike Up a Conversation: How to Talk to Women (and Everyone Else)
One of the biggest hurdles for men in the dating game is simply talking to women. It can feel like a daunting task, especially if you’re naturally introverted or carrying around the baggage of past rejections. But fear not! Talking to women (and anyone, really) is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice. Here’s a foolproof guide, inspired by the wisdom of Dr. Robert Glover, to help you navigate the art of conversation:
Step 1: Get Out of the House
Dr. Glover’s golden rule is: “Get out of the house. Talk to the people you meet. Linger in public. Walk through the open doors”. This might seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many men limit their social interactions to online dating apps or their immediate circle of friends. To truly expand your dating prospects, you need to venture out into the real world and engage with the people around you.
Step 2: Talk to Everyone
Yes, you read that right—everyone. Don’t just focus on women who fit your “ideal” criteria. Strike up conversations with men, women, young, old, punk rockers, business suits—anyone who crosses your path. Why? Because every interaction is an opportunity to practice your social skills, build confidence, and learn something new.
Step 3: Test for Interest
Not everyone you talk to will be interested in engaging in a deep conversation or going on a date with you, and that’s perfectly okay. The key is to test for interest and respect people’s boundaries. Dr. Glover outlines three levels of interest testing:
Level One: The Power of Unoriginal Remarks
This involves using small talk to establish common ground and gauge the other person’s willingness to engage. For example, commenting on the weather, a shared experience (like waiting in line), or a current event. If the person responds enthusiastically, you can move on to level two.
Level Two: Discovering Commonality
Once you’ve established a rapport, delve deeper by asking questions about their interests, hobbies, or experiences. Be playful, tease gently, and actively listen to their responses. This is where you start to build a connection and see if there’s potential for something more.
Level Three: Asking for Something
The ultimate indicator of interest is a willingness to exchange contact information or go on a date. Be direct and confident in your approach. If the person declines, accept their decision gracefully and move on.
Step 4: Embrace Uncertainty
One of the most important principles in dating is embracing uncertainty. You can’t control how someone will respond to you, and that’s okay. The key is to take action despite any fear or discomfort you might feel. By putting yourself out there and being open to new experiences, you’ll increase your chances of meeting someone special.
Step 5: Walk Through Open Doors
If a woman shows clear signs of interest, don’t hesitate to “walk through the open door.” This means taking the lead and escalating the interaction. Ask for her number, suggest grabbing a drink, or invite her to an event you’re attending. Even if you’re feeling nervous, remember that taking action is the only way to move things forward.
Step 6: Learn from Every Interaction
Every conversation, whether it leads to a date or not, is a learning opportunity. Pay attention to what works well and what doesn’t. Reflect on your approach, your body language, and the overall flow of the conversation. By continuously learning and refining your skills, you’ll become more confident and successful in your interactions with women.
Remember, talking to women is like any other skill—it takes practice. By following these steps and embracing a mindset of growth and experimentation, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the art of conversation and building meaningful connections with the women you meet.
