Before jumping back into the dating scene, consider a dating moratorium: a conscious break from actively seeking romantic relationships. This means deleting the apps, declining dates, and resisting the urge to pick up your phone and call that booty call. This might seem counterintuitive, especially if you’re eager to find a partner, but taking a step back can be the key to achieving your dating goals.
What a Dating Moratorium Is (and Isn’t)
A dating moratorium means completely removing yourself from the dating game. This means:
- No app browsing – delete them from your phone.
- No speed dating or matchmaking services.
- No contacting past flings or hookups.
- No going out with the sole intention of meeting women.
- Declining dates, even if offered.
- Communicating your boundaries clearly.
However, a dating moratorium doesn’t mean becoming a hermit. You can still:
- Talk to women and flirt (without intention).
- Accept a woman’s contact information if offered (clearly stating you’re not currently dating).
- Practice healthy masturbation (without porn or fantasy).
- Be social, active, and pursue new hobbies.
Why Take a Break? The Benefits of Detachment
The main purpose of a dating moratorium is to detach from the outcome of dating. The sources emphasize the Stoic philosophy of accepting that much of life is outside of our control. You can’t control whether or not a woman will be interested in you, but you can control how you approach the process.
A dating moratorium allows you to shift your focus from finding a partner to working on yourself. This can include:
- Building your “cake of a life” – pursuing your hobbies, strengthening friendships, and developing your career.
- Addressing any personal issues – such as past relationship trauma, toxic shame, or self-limiting beliefs.
- Gaining clarity on your values, needs, and goals.
By focusing on personal growth, you become a more attractive and well-rounded individual, making you more appealing to potential partners.
Detachment Doesn’t Mean Apathy
It’s important to note that detaching from the outcome doesn’t mean you don’t care about dating. It simply means you’re approaching the process with a more balanced and healthy mindset. Instead of fixating on finding “the one,” you’re focusing on enjoying the journey and making the most of every experience.
How Long Should You Take a Break?
The sources recommend a minimum of three months for a dating moratorium. This allows you to fully immerse yourself in personal growth and detach from the anxieties and expectations of dating.
The Dating Moratorium: A Foundation for Success
The dating moratorium is like pressing the reset button on your dating life. It allows you to clear your mind, re-evaluate your priorities, and approach dating with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity. By taking the time to work on yourself, you’ll be in a much stronger position to attract and build a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
