Defining the Relationship (DTR)
The sources explain that, at some point, you might want to have “the talk” – the DTR or “defining the relationship.” This conversation usually happens when you’ve been dating for a while and want to make things exclusive. However, even the most laid-back woman might eventually pop the question: “So, what are we?”
Traditionally, men are seen as the gatekeepers of relationships, while women control access to sex. While this might seem outdated, it highlights the different ways men and women approach commitment.
Situationships
The sources define a situationship as a relationship that resembles exclusivity but hasn’t been explicitly defined. You might hang out regularly, meet each other’s friends, even families, but without the official “boyfriend/girlfriend” label.
Taking the Lead
If you feel ready for exclusivity, the sources advise being upfront and communicating your intentions. Don’t wait for her to bring it up—take the lead and tell her how you feel. This demonstrates confidence and a willingness to commit.
Honesty is Key
When discussing exclusivity, honesty is paramount. The sources emphasize the importance of being truthful about seeing other people. If asked directly, state clearly that unless you’ve had a conversation about exclusivity, she should assume you’re dating others. This avoids misunderstandings and sets clear boundaries.
Timing and Boundaries
There’s no set timeline for the DTR conversation. The sources suggest waiting at least three months to ensure you’ve experienced “real world” situations and witnessed each other’s true selves beyond the initial honeymoon phase.
If a woman pushes for a definition before you’re ready, stand your ground. Communicate your need for more time, using “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming her.
Respecting Differences
Remember that everyone has their own values and boundaries around commitment. Some women are comfortable dating multiple people simultaneously, while others prefer exclusivity from the outset. Respect her perspective, even if it differs from yours.
The DTR: A Step Towards Clarity
Defining the relationship clarifies expectations and establishes a foundation for a more committed and fulfilling partnership. Remember to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully to navigate this conversation successfully.
